Every once in awhile, life throws you a curve ball.  An unexpected, out of left field, not ready for it at all, curve ball. That’s what happened to me at the end of last year.  Well, let me back up a minute and I’ll tell you all about it.

About two years ago now, I was feeling a bit drained.  More than drained.  My battery was dead.  Completely dead.  To the point that my much-better-half Charlie took me to the ER.  There was something wrong.  Test after test, vial after vial of blood (I swear they weren’t going to leave me any), four days of hospital food and no sleep, and the result was … inconclusive.  They found nothing physically wrong with me, but suspected I was suffering from SEID, or Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disorder, a form of chronic fatigue.

I have to admit, when I heard that someone had chronic fatigue syndrome, I always thought “Well, get more sleep!” (I apologize to all the CFS sufferers now.  I was ignorant).  I don’t think that anymore.  This disorder is debilitating.  You can sleep all day and you would still feel exhausted.  And it’s not just feeling tired.  You hurt.  You ache. You can’t focus.  You have no stamina.  And it was while we were trying to build a studio, run a business, travel.  It was not good.

I learned from the medical community how to manage the SEID, how to recognize when an episode was coming on, and what to do to prevent, or at least lessen it’s affects on me.  For a year and a half, I tried.  I worked through it all, I did my best, I tried.  And it wasn’t enough.  By the end of last year, I couldn’t do it anymore.  I had nothing left.  I could barely get out of bed, let alone function.  Charlie and I decided it was time to shut it down and concentrate on getting better.  So we did.

And I cried.  For days.  This was my life.  I had worked so hard to build what we had built.  I loved my job, my little piece of entrepreneurship.  And now it was over.  I had nothing.  And it hurt.  Bad. It was a curve ball I was not expecting, and it pretty near knocked me off my feet.

I have allowed myself to get better for the past 7 months, and I finally feel ready to dive back in.  Well, maybe not dive, right away, but put my toes back in the water.  I don’t know where this journey it taking me yet, but I feel that we are breaking through the fog and entering into brighter days.  And that, my friends, is a good thing.  You can see the website is back up and running, under Charlie’s purview – I’ve given him license to all my goodies to keep providing to the wonderful customers and quilt shops all over the world.  So, in a sense, PMQD is back.  Different, but we’re back.  Not 100% yet, but we’ll get there.

Thank you all for being patient with me.  Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers.  I can’t begin to tell you how much they have meant to me.  For all the offers of help, for those who stepped in and saved us when we were desperate, you are my heroes and my angels, and I love you all more than I can say.  I am humbled by all the kindness, and I plan on paying all of it forward as I continue to improve. Yes, we got hit with a curve ball, but with practice, even curve balls can be hit out of the park.

Stay tuned, I have lots of stuff to share with you going forward.  After all, I’ve kept quiet for seven months!  I’m bursting at the seams!

Love you all.  P